“Life is a voyage of self discovery…It’s not selfish to love ourselves.” ~ Louise Hay
Most of us are taught and conditioned at a young age that one of the major purposes in life is to find companionship. Whether it be marriage or a committed partnership — if you are able to make this happen, then you are in the upper echelon of humans. And even though we know (and most likely have experienced) the statistics about marriage and divorce, breakups and sorrow; we continue to seek this ever elusive prize. But the one thing we are never taught in those formative years is the fact that the meeting of “the one”, falling madly and deeply in love with another, cannot and will not be fulfilled if we are unable to love ourselves.
Relationships are not easy. They are in fact, work. And sadly, most people don’t like to do work; especially on themselves. We think that if we can just make this person happy, they will love me and every hurt, regret, insecurity and fear will just melt-away. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Unless those emotions that have held us back from feeling joy within ourselves are confronted and “let go”, it will be nearly impossible to love another completely, let alone have another love us. Low level emotions are not attractive and in most cases we attract what we feel about ourselves. No partner can ever make you feel secure, confident or commit, if we do not feel that for ourselves.
We want to become that mature, open and communicative person that any potential partner would swoon over. But how do we start in the work to get us there?
Become Self-Accepting — “viewing yourself as a good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. A self-accepting person is less likely to burden a partner with either excessive reassurance-seeking or excessive criticism.” (Psychology Today, 2016)
Practice Patience, Tolerance & Forgiveness — The one thing that is certain in life is uncertainty — so why not be kind with ourselves and acknowledge that every emotion we feel is valid and by being patient and forgiving we are able to acknowledge and accept these fleeting moments with appreciation.
Take Care of Yourself — Self-care of the physical body tends to be the first activity when we are ready to enter into partnership with someone; but we mustn't neglect our mind and spirit bodies as well.There is so much we as humans don’t know. But love is possible for all of us — and it starts within you.